Speaking up for Bobby

By Bill Foley of The Montana Standard - 12/23/2008

Bill Foley, Tap 'Er Light sports commentary

I don't know what Bobby Hauck said — if anything — to Montana Grizzly fans after his team fell 24-7 to Richmond in the championship game Friday night.

I don't know how he felt about the loss. I don't know how he's felt about the fans in his six years as football coach at the University of Montana.

But I know what I would have said if I was in Hauck's shoes.

After approaching the podium waving my double-barreled Butte salute, my speech would go like this: "To heck with you. I am sick and tired of you wishy-washy so-called Grizzly fans who think you know everything about football. Most of you know about as much about the game I love as the average grandma in knitting class.

"Yeah, I'm being a little hard on Griz fans. I know the vast majority of you are great supporters. It's the vocal minority, though, who need a talking to.

"You know who you are. You're the guy who shakes my hand and tells me ‘Good game, coach,' when we the Grizzlies win. Then you put a ‘for sale' sign in my yard in the middle of the night on those extremely rare occasion when the Grizzlies lose.

"I can't even win when we win around here.

"Do you know that I have a 66-16 record in my six years? That's right, I have won 80 percent of my games. Only Joe Glenn, who was here just three years and was playing with Mick Dennehy's recruits, is better in the 110-year history of Grizzly football.

"No coach in I-AA — or that goofy FCS, or whatever they call it now — has more wins than us in the last six years.

"When we win, you hate my guts because we won by running the football and playing sound defense. You hate me because we didn't pass every play and roll up 70 points like Don Read used to do.

"You call for Mike Van Diest from Carroll College to replace me. Well, I've got news for you, you won't like him either. Last time I checked, they win with running and defense in Helena.

"You bet, I love Don Read, too. He was a great coach and he's a great man. But he was a coach who won 70 percent of his games as a Grizzly coach. Do the math.

"Also, Read didn't win the title until his 10th year.

"Do you even know that Read's offense probably wouldn't work in today's game? Football evolves, and defenses have learned to stop it with speed.

"Even Tommy Lee — one of the architects of that great offense — used a fullback and a tight end at the end of his career. Well, sort of.

"I'm 39-6 against Big Sky Conference teams. That's 87 percent. My teams have won eight playoff games, and we beat the Bobcats four times in six years. We won at least a share of the Big Sky title every year.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm 0-2 in championship games. But I'd like to see a chimp coach a team to just one championship game.

"Yes, you heard me correctly. One of you bumblers actually said a chimp can coach this team to Chattanooga in the comments after Missoulian writer John Smithers' brilliant column last week.

"If that guy is in the crowd, will you please step forward.

"Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Trust me, I wanted to win Friday more than you did. To me it was about more than bragging rights and a national championship T-shirt.

"Jeff Fisher is a Grizzly fan. He's the longest tenured coach in the National Football League. His Tennessee Titans are one of the best teams in the league.

"He knows more about football — college or pro — than just about anybody in the world.

"You know how many times Coach Fisher offered me advice? Do you? That's right, none. That's because he knows a good coach when he sees one.

"I'm not asking for a Bobby Hauck Day celebration, but a little appreciation would be nice.

"When you go to bed tonight and hit your knees, you should thank God Almighty that you are not a Bobcat fan, and hope that every major college athletic director looking for a coach doesn't share your football sense.

"Good night, peace out and Knibb High Football rules."