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Angry young man' has to vent
Tap 'er Light
I feel like I've been too nice lately.
That's a bad thing because it obviously means I'm letting too many unhealthy things build up inside.
So, today I'm going to do a little venting to release my inner angry young man and give you a list of some things that really make me mad.
Think of it as a therapy session and you're the shrink.
It will help if you hum the Billy Joel Song "Angry Young Man" in the background as you read. Here it goes.
Kevin Garnett. He really bugs me with his stupid chest pounding after every basket.
Sure, I appreciate that Garnett plays for the Celtics and almost makes me care about the NBA again. But that chest pounding has got to stop.
Unless you just climbed the Empire State Building with an adult woman in one hand, you shouldn't pound your chest.
I know, I know Garnett and other chest beating athletes are just trying to tell the world that they are playing with a lot of heart.
I got news for you, Kevin. The only thing your heart had to do with that basket is that it pumped blood through your freakish 7-foot frame. That's it.
Other than that, you can chalk the basket up to your naturally given motor skills, which come from your brain.
It would make a lot more sense if guys like Garnett would pound their heads on the way down court to show off after making a basket. That would be good for more reasons than one.
Poor football officials. No, I'm not going to go off on all football officials.
As Tech coach Bob Green always says, we need officials. Officials give up a lot of valuable time so our local high school and college athletes can play.
I'd say roughly 93.2 percent of them do a pretty good job, and they get nothing but grief for their hard work and dedication.
It's the horrible officials who make life worse for the good ones. The good ones don't like bad officials, either.
In one half of a Tech football game this year, the Orediggers lost a yard on an incomplete pass three times. The guy responsible for that should have to buy a ticket to see a game.
The sad thing is that there doesn't seem to be any See TAP, Page B4 Tap ...
accountability for poor officials like the ones who let a Carroll College player return a punt 60 yards a couple of years ago after he first called for a fair catch.
If you burn a burger at McDonald's too many times, you're out of work. Bad officials just seem to end up in the NFL.
Butterats.com. I hate it. The internet chat site is filled with a bunch of nameless wimps who have no problem running someone else's name through the mud.
There's nothing worse than those who cast stones from their tinted, reinforced glass houses.
The economy. I mean, come on. A 20-ounce Mountain Dew costs $1.59?
For months we were told the cost of everything is so high because gas is so high. Well, gas fell under two bucks, so the price of Mountain Dew and everything else should fall too.
Cancer. That dirty, rotten, cheating S.O.B. stole a good friend last week.
Peggy Leary never did anything but make people smile her whole live, and now she's gone way too early at the age of 56.
You could be having one of those really bad days, and then run into Peggy at the store and everything would be OK. She made everyone around her happy.
Peggy's only real crime was letting at least one of her sons grow up to be a Yankees fan, and cancer still took her. Meanwhile, there's tons of super-rich CEOs counting their blood money while flying around, healthy as can be, on private jets. That's not fair.
And St. Paddy's Day will never be the same.
Browning High School fans. I mean, come on, the world is not against you.
OK, so I thought maybe every basketball game the school ever played actually might have had referees willing to cheat the Browning team. It seemed unlikely, but I always left that possibility open since the fans voiced their complaints with such class and sportsmanship like throwing beer bottles on the floor and trying to bully a sportswriter (me) into writing that the refs ripped off the Indians in Belgrade.
Then, I heard Browning fans question nearly every call during a Friday night volleyball match.
Now, I've been to more volleyball matches than most people would ever dream of.
Still, I couldn't tell you a bad call unless it's something obvious like a team hitting the ball four times before it goes over the net.
Yet, these Browning Indian fans were absolutely sure that the referees were cheating their girls. In doing so, the Browning fans lost all credibility for basketball season.
Well, they lost whatever credibility they had in the first place.
Ending a column. Sometimes it's really hard. Like now, for instance.
I could go on for days about things that drive me nuts, but I don't have the time or space.
Instead, I'll have to close this therapy session with the words "to be continued" and celebrate this masterpiece by slamming my keyboard to the ground and pounding my head in celebration.
Sportswriter Bill Foley, who just saved a few hundred bucks that could have went to a psychiatrist, writes a column that runs Tuesdays in the Standard. Blog with him at mtstandard.com/blogs.
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